**A bartender was working one night when a customer caught his eye.  The customer had his left hand up to his ear talking to it.  The bartender walked over to the man and asked him, "what are you doing?"  The man began to tell the bartender that he was an inventor and he had invented the first hand phone.  All of a sudden his hand started to ring, "hold on a sec," he told the bartender as he pulled an antenna out of his finger.  "Hello", he said, "I'm at the bar honey, I'll be home in a bit."  "That is really something", said the bartender and went on to his business.  A little later in the evening someone came up to the bartender and told him that the guy who was talking to his hand was in the men's room acting pretty strange and that he should check it out.  When the bartender walked into the restroom there was the man standing, facing the wall with his hands outstreched and legs apart with his pants and underwear down to his ankles with a strand of toilet paper hanging out his butt.  "What the heck are you doing?" asked the bartender.  "Hold on a sec", said the customer "I have a fax coming in." **