A nervous primary school teacher hears there is about to be a visit from the school governors.  Her class is very unruly, so naturally, she is worried that the governors will see her in a bad light.

One evening, she discusses the matter with her husband, who is something of an inventor.  He goes round to the classroom and drills a small hole in each seat and places a sharp needle attatched to an electric motor under each hole.  Next, he wires the whole bunch to a control panel under the teacher's desk, with a set of switches and a big red master switch. 

On the day of the Governor's visit, the teacher is very nervous, but attentive as everyone walks into class.  The kids, slouching around, suddenly jump to attention as the governors walk in, thanks to the teacher giving a sharp slap on the master switch, causing the needles to jump up through the holes in the seats.

"Most excellent", says the chief of the Governors.  "Let's see what they learned from Bible studies", and pointing to a boy in the first row, says, "Who died on the cross to save our souls?"

The teacher flips a switch and the boy jumps up, shouting "Jesus Christ"

"Very good" , remarks the Governor, "now, can anyone tell me who hid in a basket in the river?"

The teacher hits the switch and a young lady jumps up, shouting, "Holy Moses!"

"Very, very impressive", says the Governor, and his entourage nod sagely.

"Finally", says the Governor, "I will give a commendation to any child who can tell me what Eve said to Adam in the Garden of Eden".

Before the teacher can move, a little girl at the back jumps to her feet and shouts, "You're not sticking that fucking thing in me!"

Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.

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