That looks pretty cool to me.  Good expressions, lighting, atmosphere, composition, etc.  I love Miki's expression.  The hair on that other girl may be a bit much, but I grew up in an area where "Jersey Hair" was all the rage back in the 80's, and some styles weren't that far from what you see there!  If the girls weren't sporting "crispy bangs", they had it all down in their eyes like that. :laugh:

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Tools :  3dsmax 2015, Daz Studio 4.6, PoserPro 2012, Blender v2.74

System: Pentium QuadCore i7, under Win 8, GeForce GTX 780 / 2GB GPU.