I would like to put my 2 cents in also :)

For 1 I would like to help you to understand the difference between modeling and rendering. When you model an object, what you see on the screen is a low quality representation of what you are creating.  When you render, it is the computer drawing the high quality image of your creation. A low quality representation is used so you can rotate, view, and build upon your model.

Secondly, I would like to say that I appreciate where you are coming from and your want for total control of your finished art. Dann-O is right, it would help you in learning from others work. But I came into it like you. I wanted to do it all! My first render was a cube, and I was so excited that I learned how to do that! But anyways my point is this. I think the most important step is in choosing your application. Some may disagree, but I think while learning, using many different tools is not a good idea. I think the best way to learn is to choose a program that can do ALL the things that you want to do, and stick with that one app thought it all. You want to model,render, and animate, so carefully choose an app that can do all those things. Once you have made your choice, stick with that program. I think you will be suprised at what you will be able to do with it in a short amount of time. And as your skill grows, your appreciation of your software will, too :)

As for choosing that app, that is a topic of great debate :) I use Blender, a free open source package that does it all, and I love it to the core.

Anywayz good luck , and welcome to a new world!