Vile opened this issue on Jun 13, 2006 · 21 posts
Mugsey posted Thu, 15 June 2006 at 10:05 AM
Positive change - even good change - can be EXTREMELY stressful...
For instance - I can remember the very first time that I had sex.
It was a significant transitional point in my life - a major milestone. I remember how nervous I was - how self conscious and awkward the whole experience was for me.
I kept wondering to myself "would I be good enough? Will I mess the whole thing up? Am I doing this right?...
I was really nuerotic about the whole thing, paranoid actually - It seemed like the entire measure of my manhood and virility would be summed up and judged by this one groundbreaking red letter event. I really wanted to "perform" to my absolute best capability - but I still felt deep down inside that I was simply trying too hard - and so, the experience really wasn't what I hyped it all up to be in my mind.
I felt a great deal of un-necessary pressure to measure up to societie's standards of how I should act, and feel, and present myself intimately - I felt like I was in some kind of competition against every other male in history to "qaulify" as being sexually acceptable under impossibly high standards. I worried needlessly about things like performance and technique,and presentation. I was really in an over analytical tail spin - and I felt depreciated and under appreciated.
WHEW!!! talk about pressure - MAAANNNN - just think what it will be like someday - when I do it with an actual partner!...