Both are great,Jon.I like the atmosphere you create in your first entry.It has a sharpness of words that acutely accent the state of the protagonist...Well done!I like Brian.Tell me more!

And LOL at your second one.Are you sure your real name isn't Rod Serling?Do doo,do doo...LOL.

As to the challenge,I'll give it a go...but ...be forewarned...I'm a total newbie at writing....I usually,but with great and painstaking effort, produce something somewhat, almost, kind of, sort of, approximating  something remotely akin to acceptable,lol,...but then... I totally decimate it by rewriting it within an inch of it's life.

Just like I did with that sentence.

LOL.

But if you want me to,I'll try.Not much time left,though,for all my rewrites,lol.

Marlene <")

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"A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." - Jay Leno