-There are two types of women. Those who want to sleep with Chuck Norris, and those who want to sleep with Chuck Norris again.
-All of the Santa Clauses that Chuck Norris sat on as a child are now paraplegic.
-76% of all suicides are committed when someone finds out that they are not Chuck Norris.
-When Chuck Norris eats airplane food, it tastes good. (I tend to agree with him about that.)
-Chuck Norris eats Viagra only so that he can have an extra loaded weapon on him at all times.
-Chuck Norris once used a butterfly knife camping. This may not sound special but he used it to build a tent, start a fire and kill a deer. Oh, and as a compass.
-Chuck Norris was once hired as a stuntman for Charlton Heston in The Ten Commandments. They needed someone who not only wore a beard, but also could part the Red Sea.

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