Bikermouse - YOU ARE A GOD AMONG MEN!!! WOOOOW!!!

You wisdom has surely baked my noodle - as I really could manage to actually wrench some meaning out of that syntax storm! YES DAMMIT - I DO WANNA BE ON SPRINGER - YES, YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!

I wanna flash my man boobies and live vicariously through the misadventures of trailer park lesbians...

I wanna get a mullet and one of those collarless bright red long sleeve dress shirts that just screams "I CRUISE MY FAMILY REUNIONS FOR CHICKS!!!"

I wanna sit on a discount office chair in a cheap TV studio and get demoralized and emotionally devalued by a crack whore - while the rest of the TV audience around the world and a defrocked former Cincinatti mayor laugh at me for being enough of a yutz to even be there to begin with.

YES - I wanna sit there and be lectured to about morals and ethics by a slimy talk show host who has just exploited me shamelessly for over an hour so that he can get big fat checks and eat fish eggs and snails at a big vulgar rich people eatery - while contimplating doing things more vile than anything that I could EVER dream up.

YES - I want to be escorted under the the watchful eye of a "moron cam" - by a big bald moronic cop who works security part time to make payments on his pick up truck - while he ribbs me and covertly berates me for poops and giggles...

SOUNDS GOOD - WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!!!