You said..."... I gather from what I read here at the forums that the better Canons or the D70 are very complicated. There are so many settings, and preferences, plus using the manual mode for each image, that I know it's going to be a real stretch for me to learn all of these things."

In truth, these cameras are not that complicated! I shot some film years ago then went to a Minolta point and shoot, but I did use manual focus for macros and other over rides when needed. It was only time and trying things out. Then, to a D70 which is my carry-cam and now a D200 which I love and it is ergonomically superior with less to fool with than the D70.  I have real control with either of the Nikons and that came with time and trying different settings.

You can get a good DSLR and be quite happy with it!  My coworker is impaired in some  ways but has figured the camera out his own way and does great with his Nikon D50.  That camera does quite well.

Do not be intimitaded by the "menus".  Defaults work pretty well at first with little menu messing. Then in time, you might want to eliminate "in camera sharpening" to get a better shot without halos on some shots when a contrasty shot, like a black bird against a lighter background is taken. Do the shapening in a photo editing program.

I likely use very little of the menu options...I go for simple and set things up to start then just take the pics.  Auto exposure is ok.  Most of the time I use this. The choices are arperture or shutter and still this is Auto!  You get to choose the depth of field(what is in focus and what is not at the exposure) or shutter(what is stop action or what is blurry from movement).  The exposure is still auto and a light meter and manual exposure is not needed.  This still gives you tremendous versatilaity.

Beleive me, from the great comments said so far, it is not a problem. Sure, at first the cams are a little intimidating.  Just ask here for advice! Someone will answer!   Most of the menu is useless for me and will likely be for you, too. Still, you do have to make a few choices. We can help with that understanding of what the camera is asking of you.  With time you will certainly find your means and stick with it, pretty much forgetting the menu at that point

Go for it lady!.