you know one thing that really frustrates me is the fact that when a couple divorce, they get selfish. fortunately enough for me, my ex-husband and i agreed that once divorce, it is not about us anymore but our two daughters. he and i work hard on each end to give both of them the love, the emotional security and  two good homes for my daughters to call theirs. it is not about you nor is it about this man...it is about the step son. you are going about it the right way karen, his demeanor sure doesn't say much about his character except for the fact that he is an arse. pity the kid is not your real son hon. i will be rooting for you and hope that he will see the light someday soon and figure out that through all these, the son is there watching and when he's old enough to finally find his voice to tell him just how stupid his dad is - he will.