Hope this doesn't offend anybody, but I thought it was funny. 

A thief was trying to open a window when he heard a voice say "God is watching you."  He looked around and didn't see where the voice was coming from.   So he went back to work. 

A few minutes later he had the window unlocked and slid it open a few inches.  Again, he heard "God is watching you."  He looked around and didn't see anybody, so he continued to slide the window open. 

When he finally got the window open wide enough, he started crawling through.  When he was halfway in the window he heard "God is watching you."  He looked around inside the house.  There he finally saw a big cage with a parrot in it. 

The theif asked the parrot  "Was that you saying that?" 

Parrot said "Yep!"

The theif said  "And I suppose your name is God?"

Parrot said "Nope! My name is Jesus."

The theif asked "What kind of people name their parrot Jesus?"

The parrot answered "The same kind of people that name their rottweiler God."