Two gorgeous blondes that were friends in college chance to meet years later in Miami Beach.

“I can’t believe we ran into each other.  What brings you down here?”

“I’m kind of recovering from a real tragedy.  Our house caught fire — and burned to the ground — and — and — my dear husband didn’t make it out in time.  I’m using some of his million dollar life insurance policy to kind of get my mind off everything.”

“That’s so terrible — and such a coincidence, too.  I’m down here for almost the same reason.  A tornado came through our town and my husband was killed.  I’m spending a little of the five million dollars from the insurance company to try to get over the loss.”

“Five million? Five million dollars!  Tell me — how do you start a tornado?”

A gorgeous blond wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary items together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.  After positioning her footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE! ”

Startled, the blond moved further down the ice and began to cut yet another hole.

Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE! ”

The blond, now quite alarmed, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, sat up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more: “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE! ”

She stopped, looked skyward, and timidly asked, “Is that you, Lord? ”

The voice replied, “No, I’m Jeff, the Ice Rink Manager! ”

Two gorgeous blondes were driving through Louisiana.  As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.  They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter of the fast food restaurant, one blond asked the manager, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?  Would you please pronounce where we are — very slowly?”

The manager looked both of them over carefully, checked out their hair, shrugged, leaned over the counter, and said, “Burrrrrrrr - gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing.”

The gorgeous blonde’s newlywed military husband receives orders to a tiny remote south Pacific island for a six month tour of duty and she has to stay in the states.  In his first letter back home he says,

“I thought this would be an easy assignment, but it is turning into murder!  All of the local girls are absolutely gorgeous — and — they all walk around on the beaches topless!  It’s really hard to resist their charms.  But — I’ve always wanted to learn to play the harmonica — so mail me one and I’ll practice with it so I can keep my mind off these fabulous girls.”

Needless to say, the blond quickly sends him a harmonica!

At the end of his tour, she meets him at the plane and he rushes into her arms.

“I’ve waited so long for this moment to be back in your arms again!  And I can’t wait to get you alone!”

“Hold it right there, Buster!  First I want to hear how well you can play that harmonica!!”

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