well proxies a great start.  don't let hair collide with anything it doesn't need to.  and if it is poking through something initially that it must collide with that's a definite bad. use only the hair pieces needed for the render.  and turn down the vert count as low as looks realistic (straight hair needs fewer polys)
i love dynamic hair too, but good looking hair does not equal quick for dynamic.  an hour for 30 frames can be kinda common. (ok sounds a little long)  if you have to be quick and you're animating you might get better results using regular hair and tugging at it with magnets here and there for effect.