Aside from the bumpy shoulder, which you already noted, I'd try to put some more action on the fingers of the right hand, the pose is pretty flat.  Think of a violinist with her fingers playing across the strings.

Left breast does look mis-shapen, appears to be the clothing fit isn't as snug as it ought to be.  A bit lumpy too.

Overall the pose is a little problematic if she's actually going to fire that gun and expect recoil, but if it's just intended to be "girl holding a gun" illustration it's not a big deal.  If you have in your mind that she's really getting ready to shoot that gun, then she needs more of her body behind it to absorb the recoil.  As it stands it's going to bang her pretty hard in the tit.

edit: oops, laser gun huh.  ^_^  As a viewer I still expect her to hold it like she means to hurt you with it.

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