Yes, this can work. I just got good feedback from Tiara, SoCalRoberta and Cobaltdream.

I posted a fixed version 'cause I still had my project file, the fixes were relatively easy, and most of all because the crits were right on the money.

On adding "critique group" or something to comments: I kind of think it would be cool if such comments were given "casually," as if they were the normal thing.  By giving a good critique, you are in a sense identifying yourself as part of the group -- no preface necessary.  But this is surely no big deal, anything you wish to write that is helpful is certainly OK by me.
 
On the other hand, if  people felt more free around here to offer critiques -- and see it done right, and accepted graciously  -- they might just start criquing without bothering to formally sign up in the thread.  And then the Group would have to be considered a smashing success, yes?

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