Senor Most Honored Cardinal of the Track Ball with arrows order,

It has come to may attention that there is a number of parish members who fear not your wrath and comfy chair.  Because of your hesitant use of rack and irons your grip may be loosening.  The evils and sins outside Brycedom draws many.  I must confess I have been drawn to the dark side.  I now occassionally use crayons.  Forgive me.