There might be a way using Python and magnets, at least for the breast bounce, but it won't be particularly easy.

Here's what I'm thinking about.

• create two magnets, center the magnet zones on the nipples, scale the zones to include the complete breast.
• use Python to analyse the position, speed and acceleration of the nipples during the animation. Then calcluate where those nipples SHOULD be, taking hysteresis into account (quite a complex differential equation to solve, I haven't figured out the math yet). Do the calculations for each frame.
• then use Python to move the magnets to the correct positions for each frame.

The math is fairly complex, and there's no guarantee that it'll look truly realistic. If you want realism, you'll have to keyframe by hand. That's what Nerd did for his jiggle/bounce sequences for the Walk Designer.

The pen is mightier than the sword. But if you literally want to have some impact, use a typewriter

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