Hmm...I guess all this proves is not all textures are created equal.  I'd be happy to make her run the gamut of the textures I have, to see what works and what doesn't.  Unfortunately, I don't even know how to use UV mapper for anything except the few freebies I've downloaded...and those came with step-by-step instructions.

Whatever you do, don't just trash this thing.  I'll give you something for it.