Ok, here are my latest render settings. I turned backfacing polys back on, because of the hair issue, as you said Richardson.

Replicand, I tried lowering the bucket size to 64, but it added time to my render with the same settings...and it seems to function fine at 128, so I'm going to leave it there for now. The reference manual actually states that higher bucket sizes will speed up rendering, but at the cost of processing power, iirc.

svdl, I tried your texture filtering script (thank you!), but it added a few minutes worth of render time...and it didn't look so good either. I also tried it on the "fast" setting, but it either takes much longer, or it's freezing up at some point. So that doesn't work either.

I also tried your morphs script, but I guess it doesn't support V4? I got an error...one that for some reason, I can't copy and paste.

Now how would I add SSS to the eyewhites? What material actually applies to the eyewhites, as a matter of fact? Would I have to change all of the colors, or just the scatter color?