- Despite every fanatasy image, young slender intelligent women are not queing up to battle dinosaurs with really big guns - half naked.
Someone please have a quiet word with Pamala Anderson then...

*- i am not a foundling child from space with here-to-for un realised cosmic powers, no matter how many times i say the word 'atomic' backwards.
*That never worked for Blondie either..

- Life is not really a computer simulation which can be broken out of.
Have you tried pushing 'control-alt-delete' ?

*- I will not win the lottery
*Excellent, that knocks the odds down for the rest of us then....

*- i dont have an unrequited love following my every step in secret. and we wont someday be together on a distant world.
*A dog springs to mind here, they will give you just what you need, but if it's 'space' dog, maybe you should look up: *http://www.spacedogs.info/

• no matter how many times i strip off inside a telephone box, i dont have a super-costume underneath that stops me getting arrested.
  *If you mean one of these: *http://hollywoodcostumesandparty.com/justiceleague/15543.jpg I think i'd rather be naked.....

- all that happens when i walk inside a wardrobe is i bang my head, and poke my eye out on the coat hooks.
I share your pain there.....