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For a headband you can experiment with dynamic cloth. Flatten a torus, make it slightly larger than the head and set up an animation shrinking the torus; it will fit itself around the head (after several tries). Once finished save the result as an object and you have your headband.

if i where to do as you say
would i do this in the cloth room of poser
or would i do this in carrara?

You have to do this in Poser. In Carrara there is no tool to let it take the proper shape, although you could come very close.