Hi Silke.

I appreciate the double spacing.  Much easier for me to read.

I have three books going to print this year.  The first is about spiritual healing, the next two are technical books that discuss anatomy, physiology & spiritual energy systems for bodyworkers (massage therapists).  I can write instructional essays and even chapters without any problem but when it comes to telling a story, I suck.

However I want to write stories and have been reading about writing them.  I've just started Syd Field's Screenwriting Workshop (DVD & book) and am analyzing a few screenplays. 

I would like to offer the below comments for you if you want them (I acknowledge you did not ask for feedback), but also for me as a future storyteller in training who needs to take note of such comments to improve his own material:

"Erihn couldn't resist. She dropped out of the tree, directly into the path of the young man walking along the deserted path. "Hi.""

How big is Erihn?  Is she the size of a fingernail or a (short or tall) human being?  What did she feel and experience when she dropped out of the tree?

"He stopped, eyeing her warily. "Hi. Where the hell did you come from?""

What did Mitch see when he looked at her?  Was she beautiful?  Did she have physical traits that suggested she was other-worldly?  Did he experience sexual arousal from her beauty and presence?  How tall was Erihn compared to Mitch?

"Erihn pointed up into the oak. "Up there." He glanced up into the tree, then back at her. "Isn't that a bit wet?""

What type of tree was it?  Old?  Young? Oak? Pine? Willow?  What size branch was Erihn sitting on before she dropped down?

""I am dangerous," she finally grinned at him, cocking her head to one side.  He returned her grin, baring a set of even white teeth. "Sure."

Hmmm.  When I first read that paragraph I associated "even white teeth" with "dangerous".  Re-reading it I realized it was Mitch's teeth, not Erihn's.  I think that "even white teeth" is telling me what is happening more than showing... I could probably feel more about what's going on in Mitch's mind if I were shown what was happening with his eyes (do I see a reflection or glimmer of something) - is there a wince of an eye that causes some wrinkles or a brow to raise, or maybe muscles that may have been causing his brow to crunch up in stress from the previous scene relax, suggesting he feels comfortable with Erihn (or even aroused in anticipation of what may happen next).

  dialogue

There could probably be more in the dialogue that reveals more about the characters.

Mitch frowned, "Actually, I'm on my way home."
"Can I come?" A hopeful gaze was directed at him.
"Why would you want to put yourself at risk like that? You don't know me. For all you know—" 

I think this is too direct and to the point.  Expanding this to include a fantasy that suddenly goes through Mitch's head could reveal much about his character and help the audience decide if he is a good guy, or bad.

  The closing dialogue

The overall dialogue is really good.  It completes the foreshadowing in the beginning of the story and it leaves me wanting to know more.  If this becomes a book let me know, I'll be among the first to buy it.