Here's today's installment....

Part 11

 

He sat at the console, staring out the observation port, at the flat, inky blackness. Distant stars twinkled silently, but he didn’t see them. Recycled air hissed quietly through the vents, but he didn’t hear it. The floor vibrated gently, a sign of the vast mechanical workings beneath, but he didn’t feel it. Lost in his own thoughts, as he had been since he sat down in his chair, he mindlessly went about his daily routine, recording and disseminating his solar observations with brain-numbing redundancy. Was anyone even interested in this data? Did anyone even care? He doubted it. But he was obligated to do so anyway, for fear of retribution by the administrators. So he went about his business, and did as he was told, his hands doing all the work, but his mind far away.

Ever since he’d slogged his way out of bed, muscles achingly stiff from the fetal position he’d finally fallen asleep in, all he could think about was the moment when his shift would be over, and he could once again connect himself to the device and lose himself inside his own head. The memories had seemed so real, so vivid, that he was almost unable to believe that they weren’t real, that he in fact had not traveled back in time to relive them. It felt like they were not really memories, but more as if the whole thing was some kind of spiritual (perhaps even physical) journey to an alternate reality that he could interact with. It was a real head trip.

And above all, he was frightened. Frightened of what another experience like last night’s could do to him emotionally, if it ended badly again. Yes he was frightened, but the mere thought of the device sent an overpowering thrill coursing through him. A thrill he knew he could not deny.

For a time, he had tried understanding the technology behind it. What made it work? He even toyed with the idea of dismantling it to find out. But he was afraid to. The experiences he had with it were so delicious, that he was afraid of damaging the thing in the process, rendering it unusable. And after seeing what it could do, that was a risk he was unwilling to take.

Perhaps, he mused, it was some form of alien technology. After all, he’d never heard of anything even remotely like it. And he knew nothing of the person who left it for him. Who knew where this guy had traveled to, what other life forms he may have encountered, and what technology he may have been exposed to. This thing looked like it was made for a human, with the tubes for the nostrils. Homo Sapiens weren’t the only beings in the galaxy who had dual nostrils, but they were definitely in a minority. Perhaps a friendly alien race had made it as a gift for their human friends.

But this thing was wondrous. If it was indeed a gift, why had it been passed on, rather than kept and savored.

And what powered it? Obviously it had some form of battery-type power source. But was that source of limited endurance? He was almost afraid to use it; afraid that whatever power source it used would run out, leaving the thing no more than strange looking decorative object. Great as his fear of using it was, his fear of not using it was greater.

For the first time since he was abandoned in this icy metal shell, he felt like he might be able to survive the experience. The freedoms this device allowed were enough to keep his mind from coming unhinged. Without its influence, the loneliness, the maddening nightmares, the near-paralyzing uncertainty of what awaited him when his sentence was over, would quickly drive him headlong into the dark, stinking pit of insanity.

But perhaps the most vexing question to him was that of why the man had left it here? He said to do so, was good for him, as well. What did that mean? How could it benefit him to leave such a valuable item in the possession of a perfect stranger? A convicted criminal at that.

There were a million questions he could think of. More than that, really. And now the constant second guessing, twisting himself in circles in an attempt to figure it all out, was sapping him.

He tried to take his mind off the whole subject, by concentrating on his work. But for the better part of an hour, he found himself constantly having to pull his mind back to the tasks at hand. The device called to him. It tempted him. Reasoned with him. Pleaded with him. He was unable to not think about it.

 

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