""Is the above workflow reasonable or is there a better way? Why do parented items sometimes behave in unexpected ways?   I'm sure there is a trick to this - I just haven't figured it out yet.""

I don't think anyone has figured this one out yet.  Vue predictably behaves unexpectadly often... if that makes sense.  Sorry if you said this but did you save the character first in poser and then just import the scene?  It has been a while since I braved opening vue but I seem to remember doing it that way and getting it to work.

I have trouble with parented things in Carrara too.  It could be that it needs to conform, might try just making it conforming.  These are just ideas, wish I could be more helpful.

I am:  aka Velocity3d