Quote - As I don't download illegal music files, pirate software, or pirate movies  -- I'm not too concerned.

That point about Tom Cruise....?  The website in question sells t-shirts, mugs, handbags, and various other paraphernalia with the name of Tom Cruise on them.  Perhaps that's irrelevant, too........

Considering the right of parody (First Amendment again), yes it probably is irrelevant.

The items in the RMP make no comment, no position, no opinion. In other words, a purely commercial transaction.

Quote - As for the rest: thanks for the legal advice

It's not legal advice; just practical business advice ;)

/P