Secular marriage is a legal contract. Nothing more, nothing less. It grants rights and imposes duties on both partners, and it often grants (depending on state/country laws) some financial or social privileges to the partners. Including the right - as Penguinisto describes - to the miseries of divorce.

Where I live, there's a clause in the constitution that forbids discrimination based on gender, age, religious/spiritual beliefs or sexual preference. Same-sex secular marriages should be allowed based on this clause of the constitution. And yes, same-sex marriage is legal and grants the same rights and imposes the same duties as "regular" marriage in the Netherlands.

Church marriage (I mean "church" in the broadest sense, including every possible spiritual or religious groups) is different. It would not be a good idea to impose same-sex church marriage on these religious groups - in my opinion, freedom of religion is a more important right.

The right to same-sex marriage has lead to another interesting pickle here in the Netherlands. A secular marriage is conducted (don't know how to describe it better) by designated local government officials. It's in their job description.
Now what about those officials who object to same-sex marriage, based on their personal convictions? Should they be forced to conduct those marriages - infringing on their right to spiritual/religious freedom, or should they be exempted from that duty - possibly infringing on the right of the partners to get married? A fine pickle indeed, and cause for some heated debate in the highest government circles.
In my opinion, anyone who applies for the job of marriage official now cannot have the right to turn down same-sex couples - marrying same-sex couples is in the job description, so you'll have to do it. But those who already held this job when same-sex marriage was legalized should be exempted IMO - it was not in the job description when they applied for it. Probably too simplistic a view, and in need of refinement, but I thnk that should be the basis.

I expect that the states that have legalized same-sex marriages will run into exactly this problem, and I'm curious as to how California and other states are going to resolve it. The Dutch government hasn't figured it out yet, and same-sex marriage was legalized a couple of years ago....

The pen is mightier than the sword. But if you literally want to have some impact, use a typewriter

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