"Okay, so the plan is,  get ahold of my friend... dammit!  pull the data off, then format back to factory condition, and if I'm lucky finish reinstalling what was pulled off."

Just make sure you have all the data off (don't assume!) before you format. With normal methods your friend will only be able to pull off what Windows can normally see. If your data (or some of it) is hidden in a deleted partition you'll still need to use the special software to access it.

Good luck!