ok i will first post some pics.
when you render with AO on you get this . right?

but there should be no AO from where the light comes from.

i did this in photoshop. i rendered an AO pass and a matte.

i am now experimenting if i can in the shader make a matte. i was thinking maybe with the diffuse node? so that it then ignores the white part of the diffuse and makes AO only where the ambient light comes from?i think this would make AO more realistic. i think this could be done since bagginsbill used the diffuse node to make a shadow catcher.

what do you think?