The render definitely looks better than the first; a vast improvement.  Of course you mentioned you needed to make some tweaks to the pose to convey a final mood.  I think the lights are a tad too bright but this is your personal preference, not mine.  You used VSSPR3 for your set up.  Question: Which version Poser are you using?  This is important because it will determine where your gamma correction should be applied.  Ice-boy is harping GC without all the information being presented.  I have seen Afro skin go completely gray with over GC. 
What settings are your light sets?  Combination of IBL, spots, infinity, etc.  And whether you are using AO or not.  There are too many artifacts around the hairline and sideburns for this hair piece.  I have used 3Dream's Boy Hair and have not encountered this problem with my setups.  Maybe displacement a little too high?  AO settings too high? 
I think we need some more info to give the correct recommendations.