Botheration!

Why didn't I find this thread 6 months ago? It would have saved me so much time.

...mumble grumble...

But thank you lesbentley, svdl and all for some great tips.

"If I were a shadow, I know I wouldn't like to be half of what I should be."
Mr Otsuka, the old black tomcat in Kafka on the Shore (Haruki Murakami)