My mother always got upset when I would cry; I think the phrase I heard most often growing up was "what are you going to do, cry about it?"  Then I read that crying serves a physical purpose -- in a study they found that emotional tears contain a high level of cortisol - the chemical that the brain releases in response to stress.  Now when I need a good cry I just tell people I'm "detoxifying".

So the next time you want to have a good cry Connie, just tell yourself that it's ok to cry because you're detoxifying your body!  There's an article about it here - http://ezinearticles.com/?Healing-Tears---A-Good-Cry-Can-Be-a-Good-Detox&id=1495368

And yes, things do have to get better, you've been through more than I think anyone should have to go through and you've shown how strong you are.  I would have thrown in the towel or run for the hills screaming.