bikermouse opened this issue on Jul 06, 2009 ยท 13 posts
Rayraz posted Wed, 08 July 2009 at 6:01 PM
@rashadcarter
what you're writing is theoretically possible, but its only sometimes the case... by far not always, and its not neccesarily the case here.
There are opposit cases to the one you described as well. Like this one girl ive been flirting with lately, her actions sometimes dont reflect her deeper feelings at all. They sometimes only reflect short impulsive moments of stress or insecurity.
Yet when i've got her in the comfort zone, she'll tell me whats really up, or at least tells me part of it. Then from the times where she tells me significant things about herself and her feelings, i learn when to let her actions speak, and when to ignore her actions.
The 'game' is complex, words and actions should both be taken into accout. The total picture can tell you when the words are important, and when the actions are important. But this can take a little time to figure out.
Usually when a girl is doing strange things, she could be testing you, or she could be trying to drive you away. And even if shes trying to drive you away... she could still actually be longing for you, she just doesnt want to take the risk. Again, purely testing how much you want her is one extreme, pushing you away because she doesnt want to take risks is another extreme. The process is liquid, it can change, evolve, and is often different for every girl you'll meet.
@bikermouse
If she's really that obsessed with mama's boy.. you should maybe figure out why...
Next to possible social or emotional motives, she's trying to use you for your money right? Maybe mama's boy is very receptive to similar tricks. Maybe she simply keeps returning to him because she can use up his money, then she gets 'fed up' with him when he doesnt comply with her wishes, and she turns to you, trying to see if she can use you again like last time..
Or, she might be obsessed with him because she really likes him or finds the situation with him to be very easy and comfortable, and doesnt dare to let it go for a most likely less certain future with you.. In that case, whenever their relationship has its ups, she doesnt feel she needs you, but when their relationship has its downs, she feels an urge to try and still keep you as an 'option' as rashadcarter said.
its really up to you to know you have the game figured out already or not. And if not, you should decide if you want to figure out what game is goin on, or if its too much trouble to go through.
Either way, as long as you havnt figured out whats going on, you shouldnt get too involved yet, it'll just compromise your own options.
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