Quote - no no the definition of art is simple.

can I get someone to pay a lot of money for this mess of paint on a canvas/stack of tires in the shape of a submarine/me kicking a curry container along a street/unmade bed?

if yes, it's art.

you forgot "cubic mm of my own feces" (and, yes, I've seen that listed in "amazing art shows you have to see to believe")

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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad.