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On the subject of dynamic UV re-mapping, please do not bother working out how to do that with the eyes. If you re-map the UV layout, then all the UV-based math in the shaders will break.

Well I already figured that out, Ted. ;-)
While I haven't looked at the specifics regarding the coordinates you're using to planar map eye textures and whatnot to them., I do know that it can't be remapped and stay the same. ;-)
No worries, I'm not touching them.