I am waiting to board a delayed plane to Tokyo so a zillion miles and 12 plus hours from my puter with Poser. But I seem to remember it was  PhilC who made a script that I use that has presets, like silk, cotton, wool, leather rubber, etc. And you can create and add your own. I use this script all the time. 

One other thing I did which helps a lot is I made an excel spread sheet that has all the key settings. So when I run into a problem like yours and I get it to work by changing the density or static friction, I make notes of those settings. Plus some cloth in the market place can come with the settings save in the prop file. If I see anything interesting change when I load one of these clothes I note the settings if they give good results, and write my self a note as to why I think those settings worked.

Gary

"Those who lose themselves in a passion lose less than those who lose their passion"