wolf359 opened this issue on Nov 20, 2009 · 79 posts
Penguinisto posted Sat, 02 January 2010 at 6:32 PM
re: Pocohontas in space...
Funny thing is, the real Pocohontas died of TB in London, after marrying some other guy who lived in Jamestown (apparently, Smith blew her off or somesuch).
Personally? I'll pass. Yep, the FX look awesome and all, but seriously? If I were (insert evil corporate org here) and wanted some rocks out of a planet, and the locals wouldn't cough up? I'd have at least three options at my disposal that would solve the problem a lot faster and easier than trying for some stupid-assed frontal assault:
1) Nuke the rebels as an example to the rest of the population - then strip-mine the joint at a leisurely pace. Wave your swords and dragons around all you want, but they don't hold up so well under a 50 megaton mushroom cloud. Of course, I suspect that Mr. Cameron, not being completely stupid, likely came up with some sort of plot device to prevent such an obvious thing, so...
2) engineer yourself a xeno-ebola strain, especially since you apparently (judging by the trailers) already have a goodly database and grasp of the aliens' DNA. Sprinkle said germ liberally about the planet, hang back a few months to let it do its magic, check for possible cross-contamination, then mine the planet at leisure. Let robots do all the work if you're still not sure.
3) if you don't really want to deal with complications from #1 and #2, grab a couple of mile-wide asteroids from the system, and steer them a little to slam into the planet. Hang back for six months after the impacts, just to let the resulting mass extinctions happen. Then, show up like you're some sort of savior to the survivors, who would be grateful enough for the assistance to let you do whatever the hell you want. As a bonus, you can lie your ass off about the whole thing and claim that you're some sort of science expedition who saw the impacts, and hurried over as fast as you could to help the inhabitants out.