Sorry for these troubles... I could not quite believe that what I was reading really came from the SamTherapy I thought I knew just a little - or at least, not you in your right mind. You may wish to ask the mods to delete that thread, or at least those posts, if possible.

"If I were a shadow, I know I wouldn't like to be half of what I should be."
Mr Otsuka, the old black tomcat in Kafka on the Shore (Haruki Murakami)