Sounds like you've already got a ton of suggestions, some good. I may repeat the good ones.
Also sounds like you have quite a bit of experience lighting in other apps but I'll still mention a couple of obvious points for others who might be following this thread.

Point lights: Use the scale as much as 500 or more so that you can see it. You know it doesn't affect the light, it still comes from a point.

I name my lights something specific instead of light 5, light22, etc I'll name it point_Car, spot_Door
and then name its camera Shadow_ptCar or Shadow_spotDoor so that I'm not trying to remember which shadow cam is associated to which light.

When looking through the Shadow Camera for a light, obviously, don't move the camera, only the light. Rotation doesn't matter for a point light so you are free to look around through the Shadow Cam without disturbing your lighting.

"Point at" is great for beginning aim but eventually I usually find it to constricting and later turn it off. Or use a dummy object that is invisible and "point at" the dummy object. You can move that around for spots assuming you like the initial position.

And I like to work one light at a time so I'm clear the feedback is for the light I'm focusing.
I think lighting is one of the more fun/creative aspects so I hate to see people stressing over it.
Hope this helps.