Where the heck do you live? Beruit? East L.A.? No way any place in Canada could be like that. Canadians are civilized. Good lord, you'd be safer and more relaxed living in a bears cave out in the woods.  I don't know how you stand the stress. 

Feeling duly ashamed of myself, I am now grateful for my crummy little house, where I can leave a back window open as an extra kitty door.