Dear Paul,

 

It is always a pleasure to see a youngster with an active and inquiring mind turning to his elders for guidance and advice. Therefore I shall attempt to answer your questions as briefly and as accurately as I can.

“Do mums know about Poser or how should I get a friend? “

No, at best they might think that this is a new lipstick brand. However, if your mum is one of those who display symptoms of acute artistry it is inevitable that sooner or later she will discover that Poser is the perfect media for producing butterfly fairies and garden pixies without much effort and/or knowledge of drawing and painting (because of this hidden “make art” function of course).

“Does anyone have Vicky's phone number, and what's it like to kiss a girl?”

No. Vicky’s telephone number is kept secret by DAZ for they want to keep the exclusivity of this unique human female –the only one of the species without genitalia. Now, as for kissing a girl… It depends… Sometimes it can be nice, sometimes it can be lethal… (If I remember correctly).

“What is Poser, and is it better than Venezuela?”

Poser is exactly like Venezuela without Hugo Chavez.

“Are OT posts worth the effort?”

Better watch a football match.

“Should I reveal my secret mega-project to the world and prove what an idiot, er, great artist I am?”

No, we are convinced… Please… Pleeeease…. Don’t!

“Should I worry about sexy posing and miniskirts?”

Of course. For it's sinful. Your hair will fall, your teeth will rot, you'll go blind, your palms will grow hair and of course, when the time comes, you'll go straight to hell...

I hope this helps. Please don’t hesitate to come back if you have more questions.

"That's another fine mess you got me in to!" -- Oliver Hardy