I haven't been around here much lately, but decided to drop by and see what's new.  And I saw this thread and thought, finally...something I'm somewhat of an expert on. I'm not an expert on women, but I know a lot about ways for shy men to meet them.

As it already has been discussed, the personal ads either in your local paper or a REPUTABLE online site is the best way to go.  Contrary to what one person says they are NOT filled with hookers, unless you're looking at Craig's List or something sleazy like that.

I'm 48, been married for 14 years, but for over 10 years before that I did a LOT of dating through the personal ads.  First in New Jersey through The Bergen Record, and then when I moved to Seattle through The Eastside Weekly (which is how I met my wife)

I've never been the sort to do the bar scene, I've never had enough nerve to go up to a woman and buy her a drink.  I'm not the greatest looking guy in the world, but I have a decent personality and I knew that my looks (first impression) would not always get me to the conversation stage and I would be set up for lots of rejection.

So, the personal ads.  The great thing about doing personal ads is that you can post your picture, see pictures of women, and you know what each other looks like before you even meet.  So I know if a woman agreed to meet me, after seeing my picture, I am past the first major hurdle.  And in turn, I can also see what she looks like as well, and while I do have some standards as far as looks, I don't really care or want the "model type" of woman. 

And through the personal ads, you can also filter out the types of people that don't fit your personality.  You can be very specific or as general as you want.  Although most people share a love of humor, good movies and romance,  you can find people that have your specific type of humor, likes sci-fi movies or other specifc types of things.

And my last word of advice, is you have to have a LOT of patience.  I did the dating scene for 10 YEARS before I found the woman I married.  I dated many many dozens of women.  Some for a few months, but mostly they were just one time dates.  Either she didn't like me or I didn't like her.   In New Jersey I dated a woman for almost a year and we were talking about getting married, but in the end it didn't work out.  So you have to expect to go on a lot of dates, which is okay because you get to kind of "practice" on the ones that don't stick.   One of my nervous habits when meeting someone for dinner was I was constantly fiddling with the silverware.  A habit I broke myself of after a couple of women asked if I made them nervous.

So it goes something like this: either place an ad or respond to one.  Correspond with each other (mail, email, phone) for a while.  Move on to the date.  It could be lunch, dinner or just drinks.  Don't go to a movie on the first date because you need a chance to talk to each other.  And definitely DO NOT tell them your sob stories.  Don't talk about yourself exclusively,  let her talk and at least try to act like you're interested in what she is saying. 

Some guys will disagree, but don't expect to "get lucky" on the first date.  Especially through dating ads.  There's a lot of weirdos out there (both men and women) Ah, the stories I could tell! I actually wrote a song about my dating experiences called, "Mabel Plastic: Profession Freeze Queen from Hell"   Anyway, you have to get comfortable with each other first.  Women especially need to know you are not a whacko before they invite you home.

I hope that helps.  Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Lee