That's good for a 2nd try. Don't let criticism get you down. One thing I would say is think in terms of actual music videos and/or TVs and movies - long stationary shots, etc., are the exception to the rule. Render the same scene from diff. angles, long shots, close ups, etc., then use your video editor to put together one scene.

Here's one I did recently - http://youtu.be/A93N0GST4zE. Had talk-designer problems and lip-sync issues, but it came out okay. Same movement (or lack thereof) issues as you, too.