Sincere condolences on the passing of your mother. It's devastating when we lose those we dearly love, especially a parent or child.

Much as I adore them, I can't have cats any more. When they die, I grieve for weeks. My last baby, Buttermilk, was seventeen when we had to have her put down. She was suffering terribly from all the condidtions associated with feline old age, and the vet said it was the best thing to do. Maybe so, but I still feel guilty as hell. Never again.