I think you will find that it's never going to be perfect.  I suspect the problem lies within V4 (or other Gen4 Meshes) being too hi-res for the simulator. 

The fact that SR1 improved on the simulator gives us HR people a reason to hope that they're still working on it. 

Remember, the current feeling amongst HR types is that the simulator is only for animation, not for hair styling or stills.  If you learn the styling tools you won't need the sim for stills. 

I am eager to see all renders you can post showing your development in this area.