Click for bigger & Comments

An open letter to the People of Earth from Her High Excellence, Empress P'nny of Lesbor, Chancellor of the Four Moons, Prime of Kendar and Queen of The Omega Federation.

People of Earth, I am presently aboard an Obama class Heavy Cruiser of the Lesborian Empire Third Battle Fleet which is orbiting your planet. My ship is accompanied by a squadron of Clinton class Star Destroyers, the big ones not the small local ships.

Your planet has been sending messages to other worlds across the Empire, which you call television. Since the cancellation of it's favourite shows, the Empire has become angry and consequently you may now consider yourselves its slaves.

In the coming days you will be relocated and will begin your new lives. Some will be sent to the (Spice Mines of) Kessel. A number will take part in games to entertain us, those passing the Empire Standard Inter-species Totty Test will join our personal slave collective. The majority of you will die.

Resistance is futile, etc.

That is all.

P.S.

Kessel does exist and there are Spice Mines. Tatooine also exists, or used to as I blew it up last week to be on the safe side.

Ciao!