Any suitable characters looking for a job?

Hi and welcome to my office. I'm looking for a person who wants to be my Personal Assistant.  The job comes with good rates of pay, fully expensed car, phone and laptop. You also get a good number of vacation days and other benefits.

Statement of Non-Discrimination

It is the policy of PennyCo not to discriminate on the basis of race, color, sex, religion, national origin, age, or disability in any employment practice. The likelihood that the successful applicant will be an 18-24 yo, fit, blonde female with lesbian tendencies is purely coincidental.