"Rape and torture sicken my. I prefer the imager in that genre to seem more consensual/contractual  than forced or if not, less violent and just mostly controlling. I have had real relationships where that was the case so the notion migrates into my work the same way. Even the tentacle stuff is more something that has gone past dread and pain and forced to."..hmm...I liked that! I think I will go and get me some more!"...jaded kinda stuff. Realistically that would never happen but where does it say erotica has to work realistically."

I'm of a sympathetic opinion as I've had similar life experiences and relations that have informed some of my gender role/signifying or fetishistic images. You've also mentioned your past use of drugs which is also a path that I spent a great deal of time and energy traveling down. Now I just stick with the weed and a very occasional adderall or dexie, and not even so much with the weed anymore, quit drinking outright. Seems we have some things in common, which is refreshing to find amongst new strangers. I guess I'm about 10 years younger though... a lot of crap can happen in 10 years as the train of time hurtles down the tunnel.

Another peculiar similarity is your image titled "black snake cock" or something, can't recall exactly... Anyway, I did this sketch many years ago and I was thinking of re-doing it with cg, when it appears on my site in the future and if you happen to see it I just wanted to point it out in case you thought that I had bit off your idea. Truly hard to be original anymore, I guess?!

"Realism in the render....I always wished I could create the Poser stuff to look more like my photography, afterall it is used to sublimate the ideas I had for photographs when I started and even now tries to accomplish this. I will never be technically saavy enough to accomplish that and have pretty much come to accept that. I just can't get past the learning curves to learn other 3D apps that will allow me to do that...so I accept the limitations and do the best I can."

As you might have gathered, conscious attempts at photo-realism (or whatever the best term may be) in art isn't a big concern with me... there has to be a layer of style that lends an additional meaning, or the artist's hand. Again a problematic topic in relation to cg. I will say that I'm a fanatic for obsessive detail, but not so concerned with actuality(?).

Ok. Back to my Lali permutation...