Not sure if it helps at all but I am running Poser 2014 on a Windows 7 system with 32Gb of memory and use V4WM with the perfect morphs and, so far, I have had none of the problems that you describe.  I do not have Lali's Bits so I cannot test any interaction in that respcet.  I only mention this as I hope it will encourage you to find a solution because Poser can be fun.  I do understand the frustration mind, and could happliy have thrown my earlier PC through the window on more than one occasion.  A few years on and I am really glad I stuck with it.

 

 

Good Luck.

 

 

I use Poser 13 on Windows 11 - For Scene set up I use a Geekcom A5 -  Ryzen 9 5900HX, with 64 gig ram and 3 TB  storage, mini PC with final rendering done on normal sized desktop using an AMD Ryzen Threadipper 1950X CPU, Corsair Hydro H100i CPU cooler, 3XS EVGA GTX 1080i SC with 11g Ram, 4 X 16gig Corsair DDR4 Ram and a Corsair RM 100 PSU .   The desktop is in a remote location with rendering done via Queue Manager which gives me a clearer desktop and quieter computer room.