Thanks for the link, 3D-Mobster. I went through the tutorials (the Smith Micros and the Renderosity versions) several times. I thought I understood what to do, but it simply never worked.

I even had a friend who is an experienced Poser user try to help me. She was last seen speeding toward Mexico under an assumed name. 

I'm hopeless. This is worse than my ill-fated guitar lessons, or the Be Your Own Heart Surgeon degree-by-mail debacle. It's probably best if I just return to rendering poorly-executed stick figures on old grocery sacks with Sharpie markers.