It doesn't matter what other people are or are not doing. That is site admin's job to worry about and decide who is at fault. The only thing any of you as a member need to worry about is how you conduct yourselves. If everyone took care of how they conducted themselves then the issues would drop to a minimum.

The TOS makes it clear that retaliatory attacks are no different than instigating attacks. Both are responsible at that point and will be dealt with accordingly. Usually it is the retaliatory attacks that cause the most trouble and perpetuate the arguing. When someone says something you don't like, be an adult and simply ignore them. If you must respond to them then do so in a mature and responsible manner as though you are an adult and not a petulant child. That means no insults or attacks on character. This is not junior high.